Monday, November 2, 2009

He's Just Not That Into You

Have you watch this movie yet? Well last weekend we borrowed a few DVDs and since I've heard my girl friend speak about this movie, decided to get it.

So there we were after dinner all curled up on the sofa and ready for a mindless romantic comedy. As usual I expected - boy meets girl, falls in love or the other way... blah, blah, blah, tears, tears, tears and they kiss and I get a warm fuzzy feeling in my tummy, and 'The End'. But to my surprise, although it ended with me wiping my tears off with my sleeve, it wasn't such a typical romantic comedy.

It was a bizarre this person who knows that person, who is related to this person... etc. connection type of story where the cast were all these famous people. But there were lots of truth and real life that was portrayed in the story line. A little drama-fied, but I could swear some of those things that happened to cute needy girl character Gigi (Ginnifer Goodwin), where exactly those that happened to me while I was exploring the dating sphere.

And as I am growing up now and seeing my friends tie the knot one by one, while I sit in the crowd or join in as a bridesmaid, just wondering when and how will it ever be my turn, I can't help but to relate to Beth Murphy (Jennifer Aniston) the character who is in a 7 year long relationship that hasn't ripen into matrimony. And it is not that they are unsure about each other but that Neil (Ben Affleck) the boy friend just isn't ready and don't see the point of getting married.

I myself not too long ago left a really fabulous relationship that lasted almost a year for the sake of pursuing the regular path where two people fall in love, get married and have kids. For me having children has always been my dream and desire for as long as I know. And as much as I hope this is respected, I in the same way respected his want to travel without a family. It took me much thinking and courage to finally call it off simply because we had strong but conflicting needs. I wasn't going to make him do anything for my, unless that is what he wants too.

Love is really 'give and receive', I believe, and not 'give and take'. If you are taking what is not given to you, then you have taken what is not meant for you. If what you are receiving seems unbefitting with what you are giving and that does not make you happy, maybe it is time to work things out or walk right out.

This always gets my mind back to one question - Which is better, to love or to be loved?

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